If you don’t have ten minutes to watch the most hyped music video of the decade, we have given you its essence with the below list of lessons to be learned from Lady Gaga and Beyoncé’s “Telephone” directed by Jonas Åkerlund.
1. Female prisoners use Virgin Mobile phones (pre-paid we imagine) to text their honeys outside the klink. They also might start looking like Amy Winehouse trying to look like an 80s Madonna, but that’s another issue.
2. Lady Gaga is single-handedly hoarding all remaining Polaroid instant film and she has the audacity to throw those Polaroids out the car window! Although, Lady Gaga may also single-handedly bring back the product from supposed extinction.
3. Sandwiches can be nourishing. Sandwiches can be deadly.
4. Tyrese is expendable. We suspected this before, now we have proof.
5. German is the language you use when you want to poison large group of people. We’re sorry, it’s just that there’s historical precedent here.
6. Beyoncé can do anything. She can bust you out of jail. She can lure your bait into a death trap. Put her in a cinderblock hotel room with no pants or force her to drape herself in an American flag outfit at the scene of a mass murder with bikers and Lady Gaga, she will still be bootylicious. Plus, she can drive that Pussy Wagon as fiercely as Uma Thurman and be a pretty good Thelma (or Louise) at the same time.
There’s probably more to learn, but like Ecclesiastes, we’ll take our time to let it all soak in.
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I truly like Lady Gaga with her extraordinary dresses however she definitely let herself down this time going out in see through undergarments.